Chapter 439 Zhu Qingyue’s second life

  The light from the kitchen is the only light source in the whole house.

   But the light gave a different impression: it was bluish white like the skin of a dead man, illuminating the dismal white cement walls and marble floors.

  …Maybe there is no difference, the real source of the difference lies in the mood of the parties.

  The memory function of human beings is incomplete and full of errors, and the brain will automatically process, transform and smear the scene of reality into another state.

  Like now.

  Zhu Qingyue froze completely. She stood at the door of the kitchen, watching her mother muttering to herself while standing in front of the dishwasher cutting vegetables. Nearby tables and tiled floors were covered with a thick layer of blood plasma, which flowed mellowly along the edges.

   And what she was slashing with the kitchen knife… There is no doubt that it is the human body, and blood can be seen splashing every time the knife is stabbed. It’s just that the **** pieces of meat on the table can no longer be seen as human.

   The only thing that remained relatively intact was a head, which was placed on a chopping board on one side.

   The severed head was still babbling over there. It turned out that the shrill voices I heard just now were not just from my mother.

   “You let Qingyue see. What would she think?” Father’s mouth opened and closed, “She is still a child, and your actions are hurting her from beginning to end. My proposal is right, she should be with me.”

“To shut up!”

  The mother rudely hit the dead man on the head with the handle of the kitchen knife.

   “I am her mother, she grew up with me… I know what to do to be good to her.”

   “You are too stubborn.” The head sighed, blood dripping from the man’s forehead.

   “A man who abandoned his wife and daughter, how dare he say this?”

   The woman continued to chop the chopping board with a kitchen knife and sneered.

“I’m doing it for your own good. As long as you’re really fine and you’re not possessed by the gods, you’ll be fine, right? I’ve been helping you to hide from the people around you. You still don’t understand my sincerity? When it’s over, I’ll pick you up and the three of us will be reunited. You just have to be patient for a while, really, I never lie.”

   “Then you still want to take Qingyue away?”

   “Qingyue’s current situation is under your bad influence. As parents, we should always think about the future of our children, right? Don’t worry, as long as you are okay, our family will be okay.”

   Mom wanted to continue talking, but suddenly heard a dull “pop” sound behind her. She turned her head and saw that the little girl rolled her eyes and fell down, she seemed to have fainted from fright.

   When the woman saw this, she began to sigh.

   “This is not right. I took a look at the disc she and Xu Xiangyang watched together, but the amount of blood in the movie is often unrealistic… It’s too absurd.”

   When she spoke, the dead head on the chopping block stopped speaking, and his eyes became dull. The blood everywhere in the kitchen, the mutilated corpses, and the flesh and blood all quickly dissipated into the air in a state that was close to “rewinding time”.

“However, it’s good if it works. Fortunately, her mind has really turned back to a child. Really, her vigilance is too bad. Do you really believe that Xu Xiangyang will definitely save her from this maze of memories? ?”…

   After a long silence, Zhu Qingyue’s “mother” smiled coldly again.

   “I don’t believe it. Until now, he hasn’t had a chance to play, so how can he save people? There are thousands of worse possibilities, let’s drown them together.”

  Zhu Qingyue opened her eyes and sat up straight from the bed.

  She was panting, wiped the cold sweat from her forehead, her back was soaked wet, she looked at the girl in the mirror in front of the bed, her face was pale and terrified.

  … another nightmare, she thought.

   Can’t recall the specific details of the dream, but judging from the fact that he was soaked like he was just out of the water, it must have been a long ordeal.

   In fact, you can understand without thinking. With her tragic life as the material, how can she make any sweet dreams.

   In addition, I don’t know if it’s my own illusion, Zhu Qingyue still feels mentally exhausted, as tired as she hasn’t slept for several days, she just wants to get back on the bed and close her eyes to rest again.

  But in this state, people cannot sleep. What’s more, who knows if it will be another nightmare to greet him?

   The reality is already very hard, and even the dream continues to torment my exhausted soul, which is unbearable.

  What did she start from, and her life has embarked on such a track of falling straight into the abyss and never looking back?

   The voice was heard again, the heavy breathing belonging to the patient, gloomy and hoarse, echoing between the walls and the ceiling, as if the whole room was breathing with it.

   is mother’s voice.

   She was used to it. After sighing, the girl no longer hesitated, got up from the bed, pushed the door downstairs with heavy steps, and prepared to go to the kitchen to make medicine.

  Zhu Qingyue moved her nose and smelled a pungent smell. She couldn’t help frowning, but still didn’t care.

   It’s the same sentence, she’s already used to it.

   The smell of disinfectant in this house is becoming more and more intense in the life that seems to never change day by day. Has recently started invading her bedroom.

   It was like every grass and every tree in the house, every table and chair, every inch of cement, was soaked by this smell to the point of deep into the bone marrow, even her body was stained with this smell early on.

  Zhu Qingyue knew that the lingering smell emanating from her body was one of the reasons why she had no friends since she was a child in Dalian, and was ostracized by her classmates in both junior and senior high schools.

  Who would want to hang out with someone who smells like disinfectant? Must be laughed at.

   However, the main reason why she is not popular is her personality.

Zhu Qingyue can no longer make an objective evaluation of her appearance, but she feels that the problem with her is probably not her facial features, but the gloomy atmosphere caused by her personality, which makes people stay away from her; plus her poor living habits, she doesn’t like to take care of it Dressed, the long hair that never wanted to be trimmed hangs down in a mess, almost covering the entire face, and the clothes and shoes are often worn until they turn white.

  Zhu Qingyue sometimes imagines that if she is willing to clean up her image and try to make her character more positive and sunny, maybe she will be very popular with the people around her——…

The reason why    is “imagination” is that when she fantasizes about that possibility, her heart will laugh at this kind of wishful thinking.

When Zhu Qingyue passed by the mirror, she saw that the woman inside had long seaweed-like hair, covering her pale face. If she ran to the road late at night, she would give the impression that she was closer to a ghost than a living person. .

   Fortunately, she doesn’t go out very much, so she doesn’t really scare others.

   Alas, it is impossible for a guy like me to be popular, not possible in the past, and even less likely in the future.

   Zhu Qingyue said to herself that she has long ceased to be delusional.

   As long as you don’t have any hope for the future, and you open your eyes from the bed every day and have no expectations for a new day, then there will be no disappointment.

   A heavy voice mixed with wheezing and coughing came from upstairs again.

   “It’s time to decoct.”

   She came back to her senses, walked into the kitchen, measured the herbs, put them in a pot, poured water, and put them on the stove.

  …

   Sitting in the kitchen, staring blankly at the beating flames on the stove with her cheeks on her back, the girl once again fell into trivial, confused, aimless thoughts.

  Speaking of which, why did she suddenly think of it again?

   It was obvious that she had dropped out of school for a few years, and the image of the students and teachers in the school had long since become blurred; day after day, the cycle of life can erase all of a person’s personality and expectations.

   After trying to recall for a while, Zhu Qingyue suddenly remembered one thing:

She vaguely remembered that during a certain period of time when she was still young, even though she was ostracized by the classmates around her, she still worked hard. While busy taking care of her seriously ill mother in bed, she stayed up late to study every day, and she had to dress up every day. Beautiful Liang went to school, never willing to show weakness to anyone, bow to life.

  …Speaking of which, when was that? Primary school? Or junior high school?

   She only remembered that at that time, she lived a very stubborn life, and at the same time, she lived a very tiring life, thousands of times harder than now.

  To this day, her life has never gotten better, but at least she won’t be so sad that Zhu Qingyue still finds it funny when she recalls the events at that time.

  Children are naive and easily stubborn.

   Facing life firmly may not lead to a happy future, but the guy who chooses to escape must live very easily.

  Zhu Qingyue couldn’t believe how things would turn out if she really persevered. After all, she didn’t trust herself with this ability at all.

   Maybe he will be driven mad, and the consequence of holding on is to become mentally abnormal…or simply become a psychopath?

  Thinking about whether there are some or not, the smell of medicine gradually rises in the room along with the heat, blurring the vision.

  When Zhu Qingyue felt sad before, she would complain to God every day, why couldn’t she give herself a normal and complete family like her peers around her;

   She even harbored resentment towards her mother, believing that she had fallen to this point because of her mother’s fault.

   As for now—

   The kettle suddenly screeched loudly, interrupting her contemplation.

   Holding the soup bowl that became scalding hot after pouring the medicinal liquid, the girl walked to the dark room where the curtains were always used to block the glass, no matter the day or night, no matter in spring, summer, autumn or winter. …

   When she was about to give the medicine, the woman in the bed suddenly stretched out her bony arm and grabbed her wrist tightly.

   “What’s the matter, Mom?”

  Zhu Qingyue didn’t care, she didn’t feel surprised at all.

   This kind of thing has naturally happened more than once in the past ten years. Even she felt that the pressure of life was so heavy that it was hard to breathe. It was normal for a mother who was really sick in bed for a long time to have some brain problems.

Zhu Qingyue’s attitude towards her mother also changed in stages: the initial admiration and admiration naturally disappeared early, and later the resentment that she had to take care of a seriously ill patient by herself. Full of dissatisfaction, it shouldn’t be a dark emotion towards a loved one, but it has also dissipated for a long time.

  The only thing left now is mercy——

   This is not only compassion for the mother, but also for myself.

   What else can we do? Her life has been reduced to this kind of virtue, and after all, she must be firmly tied to her mother and cannot be separated.

   Moreover, Zhu Qingyue never shy away from her dark thoughts: compared to her mother who was lying on the bed all day in a sick and debilitated state, a young and healthy self always lived a better life.

   In this family, only the mother and daughter are left to depend on each other. Since you can live better than each other, this comparison is valuable.

  Zhu Qingyue knew that this kind of self-comforting was so humble and pitiful, but she felt that she should take this thought as a little reward! Even if there is no return, she will not let go.

   Rather, taking care of her mother has become the only meaning in her mediocre life. Her mother cannot do without her, and she cannot do without her—

  Even though all this sickness was originally caused by the serious illness of the mother.

   “Mom, what’s wrong with you? Did you just have a nightmare?”

   Seeing that her mother was just holding her wrist and kept silent, she kindly reminded her.

   “…Qingyue, you are now.”

   The woman in the quilt looked as if a candle was flickering in her deep-set eye sockets.

   “——Will you still choose to leave me?”