Vol 2 Chapter 73 What is life

This is the last afternoon before I leave Suzhou. It seems that I want to see me off. The sun caresses the city so gently in the cold winter. After I packed my luggage, I went Taking his most beloved guitar, he went to the cemetery where Fang Yuan’s ashes were placed.

  My heart is not too heavy, I just want to meet him before leaving, maybe, he has not adapted to another world, he is a little lonely at the moment……

I gently placed the bouquet in my hand in front of the tombstone, and then sat down leaning against his tombstone. I chose a good position, and I could see his confident and wise smiling face in the photo just by turning my head slightly. We sat like we used to, ready to talk about the right and wrong in this world.

I opened the convenience bag I brought, took out a box of cigarettes and beer from it, subconsciously looked at the blue sky and white clouds above my head and smiled, and said: “Cigarettes are red plums for four yuan and fifty cents a pack, wine No money, just a few cans of expired beer given to me by the owner of the food stall a few days ago. Although it is not a rare thing, we just like it, don’t we?… So today we brothers have to open Drink it…” I said as I opened two cans of beer, poured one of them on the grass in front of the tombstone, and held a bottle in my hand.

I drank a can of beer in one breath, wiped off the remaining juice from the corners of my mouth, and said after a long silence: “Recently, for some reason, I always go to the places where I used to hang out when I was in college, such as the desks that are so old. The billiards hall is almost unusable, hehe, the boss inside is still so stupid. Every minute you play, you will be paid for an extra hour. Such an inhumane operation, it will go out of business as soon as possible… .And the owner of the food stall, he still remembers us. When I went there that day, he asked about your news. I told him: You left Suzhou after graduation… I don’t want to lie Yes, but recently I can’t help thinking: If you have never been to Suzhou, would you be living happily now?……”

“The owner of the food stall is much more kind than the owner of the billiard hall. He still likes to give us beer that is about to expire…” I said with a smile, but as I said, I kept talking. Cried……

I wiped away my tears, my body is empty, but what I think of in my mind is the scene of our arrogance and nonsense in those lush years, I remember: every night after drinking at the food stall, I will hook up with Fangyuan Putting our backs on and peeing at the school across the street, the only thing that can cover us is a sycamore tree that will go bald in winter… For this reason, Jian Wei and Yan Yan feel extremely ashamed, I pretended not to know us several times, and ran past us like a gust of wind… But we never took it as a warning, because these are the vulgar feelings that are indispensable in youth, aren’t they?

  I closed my eyes, let out a heavy breath, raised my head and drank another can of beer, then lit a cigarette and placed it in front of the round tombstone, and I also lit one……

When the familiar taste of Hongmeiyan stimulated my sense of taste, I began to think again: “Fangyuan, what do you think life is like?…Maybe it’s a mountain we desperately want to cross, and then To see the world on the other side of the mountain, but after we finally climbed to the top of the mountain, we found that the other side of the mountain is just a mountain!…So you will find that some things you have worked so hard to pursue, After getting it, it will be nothing more than this… huh, life? Live!…”

I shook my head, finally put down the beer can in my hand, picked up the guitar, plucked the strings lightly, looked at Fangyuan’s photo again, and said in a low voice: “Now fulfill my promise, and sing you your favorite song again.” I like to listen to “seasons in the sun”. After singing this song, I don’t want to touch the guitar again in my life… I don’t know why, but I always feel that when I see this thing recently I’m a little tired…forget it, I won’t tell you about these troublesome things in life, just listen to my singing…brother!”

“goodbye to you my trusted friend (goodbye, my best friend), we’ve known each other since we were nine or ten (we were nine or ten), together we’ve climbed hills and trees ( I used to climb mountains and trees together) learned of love and abc’s (learned love and abc), skinned our hearts and skinned our knees (we have the same heart, brotherhood), goodbye my friend it’s hard to die (goodbye My best friend, friendship never dies)…)

When this song is over, I seem to have fallen from one world to another. I am tired because of the ups and downs along the way, and gently put the guitar next to the square tombstone. I am leaving, and I am not going to take this Put the guitar, if my story is going to be a book, then the book will start with the guitar and end with the guitar, and this move will at least make the book seem to echo…  

  However, I overlooked that at the beginning of the story, I was holding the guitar and waiting for Jian Wei, but at the end of the story, the person I was waiting for had turned into a woman named Mi Cai.

  …….

I finally left all the things I brought and was about to leave the cemetery, but on the way back I met a person who surprised me. He was the one who was entrusted with 15 million funds for Simei advertising. President Sun, I did not expect to meet him here. He has a solemn expression and holds a bouquet of lilies representing pure friendship in his hand…

I stopped, but he looked at me without surprise, so I can be sure that he also came to see Fangyuan… Before I could speak, he said with a sad expression: “I didn’t go Attending Fangyuan’s funeral is to fulfill the promise I made to him…but I still meet you here.”

  I looked back at Fangyuan’s tombstone again, unable to express my feelings at the moment…

President Sun hugged the lily in his hand a little tighter, and he sighed infinitely: “Fangyuan and I have forgotten the year… The year before last, I caused heavy losses to the bank because of my dereliction of duty. resources, helped me with capital operations, and finally successfully made up for the loss and kept my position…Although we met because of the money game, we are more like friends in life. …So, I don’t care what others think of his life, but in my heart, he is a good boy with wisdom, responsibility, and loyalty…It’s a pity that his life is too short !”

  Looking at President Sun in front of me, I couldn’t help but ask myself, what is the clear boundary between the wicked and the good?

In fact, there is not, and human beings are always a very subjective animal. Those who infringe on their own interests are evil people, and those who bestow on themselves are good people… Or, the dead have passed away. For Fangyuan Said, the so-called good and evil are no longer important… So, I didn’t say anything, just nodded, and I agreed with President Sun’s evaluation of Fang Yuan.

President Sun’s expression was still very sad, and he said to me again: “I don’t know if you have heard the news that you and Fang Yuan’s friend Xiang Chen in college have been investigated by relevant departments because of suspected huge illegal fund-raising… … Once identified, the crime is serious! … Fang Yuan often talked about you and Xiang Chen with me during his lifetime. He gave you Zhaoyang a high evaluation, but when it comes to Xiang Chen, his face The expression on the screen is very complicated. He said: The person Xiang Chen is most sorry for in his life is your brother and Jian Boyu’s daughter Jian Wei… He also said that if one day Xiang Chen is imprisoned, It can be regarded as evil comes with evil… Now it is really effective!”

  My heart is heavy, but I don’t know what to say? …Because some things have been so long that I can’t grasp the context of how to pursue them…but I already understand it in my heart!

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