Chapter 112
Normally speaking, such psychological test results are not suitable for missions, but Yang Xuan is the captain and the core of the entire team. Snipers, assaulters, machine gunners, blasters… can all be temporarily transferred from other teams to fill the vacancies, but the captain is indispensable, because no one knows this team better than him.
What surprised the psychiatrists in the team was that even if Yang Xuan’s spirit was deliberately stimulated to a critical state, he could still complete normal commanding and sniping work. He looked calm and calm, and seemed completely unaffected by his mental state interference.
Without Wu Pan and Xia Zhao in the team, it is absolutely impossible to temporarily call other captains, so Yang Xuan still took the role of command and assault as usual in that mission.
“This mission can be said to be the most difficult one I have done in so many years. It is even more difficult than the first mission.” Yang Xuan paused, his Adam’s apple rolled up and down for a few seconds. After a few minutes, he opened his mouth again, “Because I thought, if I die like this, there will be one thing that I can’t do in time.”
Tang Junhe heard his own breathing, which was clearly audible in the quiet room. He thought it might be related to him, but he couldn’t ask easily. Just thinking about the possibility of Yang Xuan dying in the mission, he felt breathless.
“What is it?” he asked, his voice a little rough.
Yang Xuan spoke slowly: “To be precise, it is a person who has no time to meet.”
As if bewitched by these words, Tang Junhe couldn’t help shouting in a low voice: “Brother…”
What Yang Xuan didn’t say was that the night before his last mission, he thought of his half-brother Tang Junhe. He really wanted to know if his younger brother had grown taller, whether those dark eyes still looked like cats, whether the scar on his forehead and the tattoo on his ankle were still there, and how he had been living as Dr. Tang all these years OK.
Before leaving for the mission, Yang Xuan tidied up his guns and equipment. Chief of Staff Wu personally came over to make the final confession. Yang Xuan watched his comrades board the helicopter one by one neatly. At the door, he suddenly opened his mouth and said to the chief of staff: “Uncle Wu, if something really happens to me, my will, you can help me annul it.”
“What’s the matter?” Chief of Staff Wu raised his eyebrows when he heard it, “What nonsense did you say?”
Yang Xuan said calmly: “You have to agree to me, otherwise I will not be able to fulfill this mission.”
Time cannot be delayed, so Chief of Staff Wu simply responded, “Okay, I promise you,” thinking of the recent situation in the team, he urged, “You are the captain, you have to stabilize, if you can’t, the team Others in the room must be more messed up.”
“I know, don’t worry.” Yang Xuan only briefly said these words, and then pulled the cabin door hard.
That mission went smoothly, Yang Xuan was only shot in his left arm and had to be bandaged briefly. When he came back, he reported his discharge to his superiors.
After hearing this, the leader at the top directly typed back the report intact, without even approving the word “disagree”, which means that the above-mentioned matter should be regarded as ignorant of this matter, and Yang Xuan should stop mentioning it.
But Yang Xuan’s attitude was firm, and he went directly to the superior’s office with the discharge report for the second time. He knew that he could no longer go on missions with peace of mind, and once this premonition appeared, it would only intensify in the future. Of course he can stay and continue to be the captain. For the safety of the whole team, he can try his best to maintain his sanity in the most extreme psychological state, but what if one day he completely loses control during the mission? This was risking the lives of other comrades-in-arms, and he thought he couldn’t bear such a weight. The worries in his heart were already very heavy, and he couldn’t handle it with ease.
The discharge process was a difficult one, completely deadlocked at first, with no room for maneuver. Although the higher-ups didn’t say it clearly, it was clear that some leaders had issued a death order, and they absolutely could not agree to Yang Xuan’s discharge from the army.
But a month later, things suddenly turned around, and it seemed that someone above had let go. There is only one condition, you can’t leave the army, you can only transfer to the public security system, Yang Xuan has no objection to this.
It was only when he left that he found out that the turning point in this matter was due to Xia Zhao’s efforts through his family background.
“However, it’s quite awkward to say it,” Yang Xuan laughed, and his tone returned to normal, “I haven’t had any accidents after so many missions. When I came back, I was almost shot dead by that shot, and I was sent to the hospital. to your hospital.”
Tang Junhe tried his best to avoid thinking about the picture of Yang Xuan covered in blood, but he couldn’t calm down and think about other things.
“Brother,” Tang Junhe stood up slightly, looked at Yang Xuan and asked, “Then if you were not sent to our hospital, would you come to me?”
“Yes.” Yang Xuan said.
Tang Junhe looked into his brother’s eyes, which were dark, like a deep lake, and it seemed that people could drown in them after looking at them for a long time. Yang Xuan’s voice was a little hoarse, and he knocked on his eardrums word by word: “I came back this time to see you specially.”
Tang Junhe heard that it was raining outside, and it patted on the window very slightly, making the whole room quiet. Summer is really coming, such an idea suddenly appeared in his mind.
He hugged Yang Xuan and didn’t speak for a while, his eyes didn’t know where to look, and he seemed to be lost in thought.
For a moment, he thought that Yang Xuan was going to bring up the issue of seeing a psychiatrist, but Yang Xuan just got out of bed, put the ashtray on the coffee table, used mouthwash to remove the smell of cigarettes in his mouth, and sat down. Go back to bed and ask, “Turn off the lights and go to bed?”
Tang Junhe lay on his side, looked at him steadily, and did not speak.
Yang Xuan supported the bed with one hand, bent down to kiss him and squeezed his chin: “What are you thinking again?” After he finished speaking, he lowered his head and kissed Tang Junhe.
Tang Junhe tasted the smell of tobacco mixed with mint, which made him unable to resist taking the initiative to deepen the kiss. After the kiss was over, he panted slightly and said, “I was thinking, what would I do if something happened to you.”
“Even if something happens to me, I won’t let you know.” After Yang Xuan finished speaking, he raised his hand and turned off the light.
When he lay down, Tang Junhe leaned over rustlingly, put his cheek against his shoulder, and said, “Brother, you have to let me know.”
Yang Xuan touched his face and said, “Why?”
“It’s been a good and hard life.” Tang Junhe said in a low voice.
What he said was unclear, but Yang Xuan understood. When he was leaving ten years ago, he let Tang Junhe remember that wish, because he knew that his younger brother would definitely listen to him. In fact, Tang Junhe did listen to him very much, and he worked hard to make himself live well, at least it seemed so. And if something happened to Yang Xuan, then his efforts to make himself live well would become meaningless.
After a while, Tang Junhe called “Brother” again.
Yang Xuan said “huh?”
Tang Junhe hesitated for a moment and said: “Actually, I have a regular psychiatrist… A few years ago, I went to her once a week, but then I went less often… After you came back, I went there again.”
“When?” Yang Xuan asked, turning his face slightly.
“The time I said I was doing well.” Tang Junhu paused and said, “If she must be treated, maybe she knows me better.”
Yang Xuan thought for a while and said, “Okay, then I will go with you next time.”
That’s how things were settled.
On the afternoon of the third day, the two came to the counseling room together. Although he had mentioned that he was not coming alone this time when making the appointment, Tang Junhe was still a little apprehensive.
After all, apart from his mother Tang Xiaonian, no one else knew about the matter between him and Yang Xuan. Almost everyone who knows them only knows that they are brothers, but they don’t know that there is a relationship of lovers.
“Gotanewboyfriend?” The psychiatrist asked on WeChat two days ago.
Tang Junhe thought for a while, typed a line of words on the screen and sent it: “No, alwaysshim.”