Chapter 70

Moisture seeped in through the shirt, carrying Tao Xiaodong’s body temperature.

He said brother Yan, save me, that I don’t want to be blind.

Tang Suoyan closed his eyes, the hot and humid temperature on his shoulders scalded his heart all the way along the bones, this burning sensation could burn a hole in his heart.

Tao Xiaodong has always been a very rigid person, like a straight piece of steel, he doesn’t know pain or tiredness, and when encountering difficulties, he goes forward with his head covered. From Tang Suoyan’s acquaintance with him to now, he rarely even has red eyes.

After so many days, he finally crushed himself. Now he buried himself on Tang Suoyan’s shoulder, not hiding his embarrassment, gasping hard, sobbing uncontrollably in his throat, and showing his fragility naked to Tang Suoyan.

“I don’t want to break up with you either. I want to live with you until I die. Sometimes I close my eyes before going to sleep and think of you next to me… I have to open my eyes to see you again.” Tao Xiaodong pressed Tang Suoyan’s shoulder, breaking down The lower voice is distorted, “I’m too…”

Some words could not be uttered due to emotional pressure to a certain extent, the words got stuck here for a long time, Tao Xiaodong murmured after a long while: “…I really like you so much.”

Tang Suoyan wrapped his arms around his waist, his Adam’s apple kept trembling, unable to speak.

“I’m uncomfortable… My heart is broken into several pieces. Whatever I do is wrong.” The second half of the sentence was only breathless, and he rubbed his forehead on Tang Suoyan’s shoulder impatiently, “Why do you treat me like this? I have done so many good things, I have saved so many pairs of eyes…Can’t you change my eyes?”

I don’t know who he is questioning, every word he said is like a knife, which breaks the heart.

“What should I do if I’m blind, Xiaonan? I’ve been worrying for so many years…” Tao Xiaodong pressed his face on Tang Suoyan’s shoulder, his eyes were a little blank, “I’ll throw it all to you? You can’t worry enough, the two brothers Blind man, you won’t have a sunny day in the future, and every breath you take will weigh you down.”

“Why are you throwing it all at you?” Tao Xiaodong stuck there, whispering, “I don’t give up whoever is willing, why?”

Tao Xiaodong often competes with himself, and he struggles to wring his heart.

Tang Suoyan kept his back to him, and didn’t turn his head back, so that Tao Xiaodong didn’t see his face.

Tao Xiaodong twitched violently, and was also tired. He kept leaning against Tang Suoyan’s shoulder with his face sideways, and stopped talking.

Both of them were silent. Ten minutes later, Tang Suoyan turned around and raised his arms to hug Tao Xiaodong.

Tao Xiaodong didn’t hide this time and let him hug him.

Tang Suoyan hugged him with one hand, wiped his face with the other hand, smiled slightly and said, “Oh, I’m wronged.”

Tao Xiaodong’s suppressed emotions were all vented, and now his whole body is listless.

Tang Suoyan held his hand without moving, and leaned over with the other hand to take out two pieces of paper to wipe his face. Tao Xiaodong took it by himself and blew his nose. After blowing my nose, there was no paper at hand, so I folded the used ones again and used them to wipe my eyes.

Tang Suoyan hurriedly stopped him with a “hey”, took the one in his hand and threw it away, and drew him two back.

After throwing it away again, Tang Suoyan kissed his eyes, pressed the back of his head against himself, rubbed the back of his head, and said with a low smile, “Look at our big bald head.”

Tao Xiaodong put his chin on his shoulder, whispered “um”: “I’m afraid it will be inconvenient to wash in the future.”

“I told you I’ll wash it for you.” Tang Suoyan gently grasped his head with his fingertips.

“It takes your time.” Tao Xiaodong was so comfortable that he wanted to squint his eyes, and suddenly felt very tired leaning there, “This saves trouble.”

The pajamas on his body were silky and slippery, and Tang Suoyan patted him on the back. Tao Xiaodong half closed his eyes, and called out “Brother Yan” again.

Tang Suo answered him, and Tao Xiaodong said, “Don’t be angry with me, I really can’t help it.”

Tang Suoyan patted him and said, “I’m not angry with you.”

“You’re making me cold.” Tao Xiaodong closed his eyes and whispered, “I’m so sick.”

Tang Suoyan smiled again: “You are going to separate from me, so I can’t have a temper?”

“Yes.” Tao Xiaodong said again, “Don’t be sad.”

Tao Xiaodong was really sleepy, he had no strength in his body, and seemed to be drained along with the emotions just now. Tang Suoyan still wanted to talk to him, but Tao Xiaodong was already fast asleep.

He hasn’t slept well for a long time, and often keeps his eyes open all night, even if he sleeps with his eyes closed for a while, he is scattered and sleepy. Now nestled on Tang Suoyan’s body, feeling his breath and smell, he was so sleepy that he couldn’t open his eyes.

Later, Tang Suoyan led him back to bed and fell asleep with his arms around him.

Tao Xiaodong fell asleep almost as soon as he touched the pillow, and Tang Suoyan stayed with him for a while before slowly getting up.

The shirt and trousers he was still wearing hadn’t changed into the one he was going out for the meeting in the afternoon. The shirt has been rubbed badly by Tao Xiaodong, and the trousers are also creased a lot. Tang Suoyan took off and changed into a set of pajamas, then did nothing, washed his face and went back to the bedroom, looked at Tao Xiaodong, and gently hugged him.

This sleep was deep and solid, without dreams, and without so many unsteady awakenings. I fell asleep for a long time without knowing it, and the tense breath was relieved, and the exhaustion accumulated before was found.

Woke up once at night, the small light at the door was on, Tao Xiaodong touched the side, Tang Suoyan took his hand, his voice was a little hoarse: “Are you awake? Are you hungry?”

Tao Xiaodong said he was not hungry, and Tang Suoyan told him to continue sleeping.

Tao Xiaodong turned over, leaned against Tang Suoyan, put his face on him, closed his eyes and fell asleep again. Holding a piece of Tang Suoyan’s pajamas in his hands, his hands gradually loosened as he fell asleep.

In the past, when he was hugging and sleeping together, his hair always made Tang Suoyan a little itchy, either scratching his neck or hanging his chin, Tang Suoyan always had to gently push it away. Now it’s not itchy, and the chin, neck and collarbone are all empty.

It was already noon on Sunday when Tao Xiaodong woke up completely.

He glanced at the time and was taken aback. He had slept for almost twenty hours.

My legs were a bit weak when I got out of bed, and my whole body was weak and tired. Tang Suoyan heard the sound of him walking in the study, and came to see him. Tao Xiaodong smiled when he saw him, thinking about his crying yesterday, he still couldn’t get over it.

Tang Suoyan also smiled: “This is sleeping.”

Tao Xiaodong went to the bathroom, panicked after sleeping for so long. Tang Suoyan didn’t leave, and squeezed toothpaste for him at the sink outside. Tao Xiaodong cleared his throat: “I can’t urinate while you are here.”

Tang Suoyan raised his eyebrows: “I didn’t look at you again.”

After finishing speaking, I didn’t know what to think of, lowered my eyes and smiled, and said in a low voice: “Besides, it’s not like I haven’t watched it…”

Tao Xiaodong quickly interrupted him: “Shh, shhh!”

Before he finished speaking, Tao Xiaodong had already guessed what he was going to say. He said it too violently, and that time it was too much, and he couldn’t mention or think about embarrassing things.

Tang Suoyan laughed to himself for a while, then turned and went out: “Pee.”

Because of Tang Suoyan’s unfinished sentence, Tao Xiaodong lost all thoughts, and his mind was full of what happened last time. Tang Suoyan had already cooked the porridge, so he came out after packing up and filled a bowl for him.

Tao Xiaodong was still uncomfortable when he bowed his head to drink the porridge.

“Okay, don’t worry about it,” Tang Suoyan put the food into his bowl, and said with a smile, “I won’t talk about it.”

Tao Xiaodong almost choked on a mouthful of porridge, and coughed muffled.

Tang Suoyan poured him a glass of water, looked at him, and just smiled.

Tao Huainan called in the morning, but Tang Suoyan answered, saying that his brother was still sleeping. Tao Xiaodong hasn’t been back for a while, and the two of them packed up and went home in the afternoon.

On the way, Tao Xiaodong said, “Brother Yan, I didn’t want to tell Xiao Nan.”

Tang Suo said, “Needless to say.”

“He…can’t stand this.” Tao Xiaodong pursed his lips and looked out the car window, “He’s too scared.”

“Don’t tell him,” Tang Suoyan said as a matter of course, “don’t let him know.”

Tao Xiaodong looked at him, said nothing else, and nodded silently.

Tao Huainan was too sensitive, Tao Xiaodong felt something was wrong within three minutes after entering the door.

Chi Cheng’s surprised “Brother” when he opened the door, and the two seconds of silence after that. Afterwards, even though everything was as usual, Tao Huainan still knew something was wrong.

He went over to touch his brother, starting from the arm and stroking upwards. Tao Xiaodong sighed, and put his hand directly on his head. Tao Huainan opened his mouth in surprise. Tao Xiaodong smiled and said, “I shaved my hair.”

Tao Huainan went to touch his face, and frowned: “Why did you lose weight? What’s wrong with you?”

“It’s okay, I don’t like to eat when I have a cold, stay away from me, and I will pass it on to you.” Tao Xiaodong said.

Tao Huainan didn’t seem to relax his brows at all. Tang Suoyan took him by the hand and led him to sit on the sofa, saying, “We had some conflicts a while ago, and your brother got angry.”

Tao Huainan first said it was fine, and then asked in a low voice, “Why are you guys?”

Tang Suo said: “Your brother wants to break up with me, has his hair been shaved? He wants to cut me off completely.”

Tao Huainan opened his mouth again in surprise, his eyes subconsciously widened: “…Impossible.”

He turned his head in the direction of his brother: “what are you doing?”

“I was out of my mind.” Tao Xiaodong looked at Tang Suoyan and said helplessly, “You are too good at suing.”

“I learned from you.” Tang Suoyan then said to Tao Huainan, “He hurt me too much.”

Tao Huainan didn’t know what to say, and held Tang Suoyan’s hand: “Brother Tang, ignore him, he cares about you…he’s mentally ill.”

When Tang Suoyan and Chi Cheng were cooking in the kitchen that day, Tao Huainan sat on the small bench worriedly, trying to persuade them in a low voice.

Tang Suoyan comforted him: “I didn’t take it seriously, don’t worry about Xiaonan.”

“Tao Xiaodong looks like a fool sometimes, but he’s not always shrewd.” Tao Huainan whispered while touching his leg.

Tang Suoyan laughed, and Tao Xiaodong called out in the living room: “Tao Huainan.”

Tao Huainan said, “He heard me so quietly?”

Tang Suoyan smiled and touched his head.

He barely got the matter out of Tao Huainan’s way, but Chi Cheng kept looking at Tao Xiaodong, his eyes fell on him from time to time and stared at him for a while, Tao Xiaodong knew he didn’t hide it from him.

After all, Tao Xiaodong looked too haggard now, and one glance at him knew that something must have happened to him.

Tao Xiaodong shook his head at him, Chi Cheng frowned.

“The two younger brothers are better than the other.” On the way back at night, Tao Xiaodong leaned back in his chair and said.

They are too smart and sometimes tiring, such as when there is something they want to hide. You can hide this, but you can’t hide that.

“Up to you.” Tang Suo said.

The mess of not being able to hold back the crying yesterday afternoon made Tao Xiaodong relax a lot. It can be clearly felt that he is no longer as tense as before, but since waking up today, he is particularly clingy.

It’s not that they have to be together all the time, but when they are in the same space, Tao Xiaodong’s eyes often fall on Tang Suoyan, as if he can’t see enough, always looking at him.

Before going to bed, Tao Xiaodong took the medicine on his own initiative, and returned to the bedroom after eating, Tang Suoyan sat by the bed, saw him come in and opened his arms to him, Tao Xiaodong smiled and threw himself on him.

Still holding back his strength, he didn’t really bump into it, but actually went over and hugged him.

The two were stacked one on top of the other, and Tao Xiaodong lay on top of Tang Suoyan, looking at him all the time, his eyes full of reluctance, looking at each other, his heart ached and swelled.

Tang Suoyan laughed and let him watch: “If you want to kiss, hurry up.”

Tao Xiaodong then bowed his head and kissed, and said after the kiss, “I didn’t want to kiss, I just wanted to see.”

“Then it’s still a kiss.” Tang Suoyan said.

Tao Xiaodong bowed his head and kissed again.

Tang Suoyan was lying there on his back, the browbones and the bridge of the nose on his face were more prominent when lying like this, and the outline was very tough. He didn’t move, let Tao Xiaodong look at it enough, and asked him calmly: “Does it look good?”

“Of course.” Tao Xiaodong’s voice was muffled, he cleared his throat, “Very handsome.”

“Then can you not look at this kind of eyes that have today and no tomorrow?” Tang Suoyan rubbed his chin and smiled lightly, “Your eyes made my heart sink to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.”

Tao Xiaodong answered calmly, “I don’t have a tomorrow.”

Tang Suoyan didn’t speak, Tao Xiaodong answered in a deep voice: “I’m afraid I won’t remember one day.”

If you can’t see your lover’s face, how long can you remember the deepest impression. Tao Xiaodong didn’t know this, so he could only try it himself.

Tang Suoyan let him watch for a long time, and finally put his arms around him, smiled softly, and said, “Xiaodong.”

Tao Xiaodong answered “Yes” while being bored on him.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for the past few days,” Tang Suoyan stroked his bald head, which was quite interesting when he got used to it. “Do you still know who I am?”

“There’s nothing wrong with my brain.” Tao Xiaodong replied, inhaling his scent.

“Know?” Tang Suoyan asked.

Tao Xiaodong said he knew.

Tang Suoyan said: “I told you not to think about it all the time, but really don’t think about it. If you know who I am, you have to believe me.”

“You can do whatever I ask you to do. Listen carefully to me.” Tang Suoyan raised his eyebrows when he said this, “Do you want me to take care of you?”

“Yeah,” Tao Xiaodong said immediately, now that he is sensible, “If you don’t care about me, I’ll lose it.”

The shaft has passed, and the tip of the horn has also been drilled. The hand is not willing to let go, and the person is not willing to let go. Now it’s basically a broken pot, anyway, this person is destined to be dragged by him, so don’t struggle, be thorough.

Tao Xiaodong said softly, “Don’t ignore me.”

People are always very good after making a mistake, even if it is a mistake, he is helpless.

Tang Suoyan kissed his ear, and then slowly said in his ear: “Yesterday, why did you say that you saved so many eyes, and you can’t replace a pair of yours.”

He smiled: “How come, you saved so many eyes, so you have me.”

Tao Xiaodong raised his head from him, and the two looked at each other. Tang Suoyan’s eyes were as calm and reassuring as ever.

“Pushing me away is still dragging me down, making it difficult for you to do this. You thought wrong from the very beginning.” Tang Suoyan stared into his eyes, the smile on his face gradually disappeared, looked at Tao Xiaodong, and said lightly, “Should Think—you’re supposed to be mine.”